We were supposed to help each other, heal each other, but what I ended up doing was adding to the terror. I do love miss Alicia and that's the only person I love. I'll turn gay before I touch another woman other than her ever again. Still, I screwed up royally. .. And I'll explain what I mean. When we forest starting going together the first time she'd have horrible nightmares about my ex and hers keeping us apart. Never expected I would have been the one to ruin things. Now I'm the subject or one of the subjects of her nightmares. :-( I royally screwed up and I can't take it back, sometimes I wish I had the courage to just disappear and just not hurt anyone anymore. ..I can't do that though because I'm a coward in that way. .. That and if I did that I'd never be able to make things up to her. .. It seems as if that'll never happen, but I have faith and patience on my side. .. That and as I've said I can't live without her.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Monday, September 7, 2015
Someone I can't live without.
All my life I've heard of the myth of "that person you can't live without". There have been times I thought I've found her, my many engagements and failed marriage will attest to that fact. Now with this woman who's picture is on this entry I believe I really have found that elusive person I can't live without... I found out the hard way she was that person. The moment I had to survive without her in my life I found I couldn't think, couldn't function. I fell into a very dark depression and only she pulled me out. I love her more than I've loved even the one I mistakenly married. She is my Bella and renesmee (Twilight Saga reference). She holds me to this earth by her love and friendship and I'll never do anything to lose that love again.
