Why do I put up with you?

Why do I put up with everything you put me through?  I guess there's no simple answer, but I guess the simplest answer is the longest one.  Yes we've been through some tough times, and I sense we'll be through rougher as the years go on, but we'll do it together as always.  My love for you exploded on a rainy, cloudy day like it is here right now and it hasn't gone down.  You lit my life again after a great darkness had fallen on it.  You are my life and I couldn't live without you if you left it.  You fill me with joy and always will because you are my queen of hearts.  I love you and will always hold your hand literally and electronically through your darkest and brightest times.  You are worth everything I have whether you think so or not.  You are worth it because I love you.

I miss

I miss my hometown of Plainville, Massachusetts.   Actually if you look at my Facebook profile it says my hometown is East Stoneham, Maine and that's true as well, however they say home is where your heart is and that is why I consider Plainville my hometown.   My heart is a little further from Plainville, but it's close enough in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.  Still Plainville is where I lived when I met and started falling in love with a young lady called Alicia Mello.   She's a lot younger than me, but it really didn't matter.  The only problem was the legal issues, that and the fact that I was always with someone else.   It took until I had moved away and my marriage failed that I got enough courage to admit my feelings.  She touches me in ways my ex wife or any girlfriend ever never could do that.   She really is my soul mate and my other half.   I'm hoping that one day my soul will be complete forever and be happy always. 

I've mellowed out a lot.

Mellowed, matured, call it what you will, but it's true.   A couple things happened to me this week that I think not too long ago would have made me go on facebook, or here to spout off about it and post it so everyone in the internet could see it.  I'm not going to go into specifics, but let's just say it's been conflicts between me and friends as well as friends of friends and leave it at that.   It would help no one for me to say more than that.   As what I mean about mellowed.   A few months ago I would have said everything.   It took me until I was almost 40 to figure it out.

Ever had a bad feeling?

Did you ever have a bad feeling about someone or something?  I've got that about Alicia right now.  She had a big blowout with the guy she calls her boyfriend.   He thought because I'm being honest about my feelings with Alicia that she's cheating on him with me.  Quite the trick since she's there in Rhode Island and I'm here.  The reason he was angry is because he hacked her phone. I don't care what you feel or how hurt you are, nothing gives you the right to invade someone's privacy.  Not only that she was told that she's no longer able to adopt her sister.   So problem upon problem caused her anxiety to fire up like crazy.  The reason I've a bad feeling is I've felt weak, tired and depressed all day despite having a good nights sleep and being in a good mood.   I'm very scared and worried and I can't do anything...