Moved on

Never thought after what Alicia did to my heart and soul that I'd be ready to love again.  Having her cheat on me when we were trying to work on saving our relationship, not only that but getting herself knocked up in the process was really the last straw.  If she had talked with me, even once had been honest with me then I wouldn't wish she would disappear like I do.  Honestly, if .  she were to beg forgiveness or ask to be my friend again, I'd spit in her face.  I'd have to have gotten a few screws loosened for that to happen again.  Anyway, that's not the point of this blog entry.  The pictured young lady is.  This is the woman who healed my heart and soul, no matter that she's incarcerated in Las Vegas right now.  She took the desiccated scraps of my heart and rebuilt them.  This woman, my T'Keya has rejuvenated my heart and soul, and I gladly give it to her for all time. 

Our song

Okay universe, I understand what you're trying to say... I can't do anything about it, but I understand.  I shouldn't have let her go.  Isn't that why I always happen to be somewhere when "A Thousand Years" our song is playing?  Do you think I wanted to let her go?   I surely didn't, but she took the choice out of my hands.   If you want to torment someone with that blasted song, why not her?   She's the one that ruined everything... ruined my dreams and happiness for years to come.   Do I still love her?   I could lie and say,  "no", but to paraphrase a line from a favorite play of mine, The Crucible, "I may think of her fondly from time to time, but I'll cut my own arms off if I ever reach for her again! "  She's no better than a liar and I don't need that disease in my life again.

Never use greyhound

Let me explain. I was needing to travel to New York for a memorial service for my cousin on Columbus day weekend and needed to take a bus. The trip from my area on Dartmouth Coach was no trouble so no problems there, but greyhound was another story. I got on their express from Boston to New York at 2:00 PM or thereabouts and was supposed to get to NYC at about 6:00 PM. Didn't happen that way obviously because I didn't get to NYC until midnight, way too late to make my connection to Newburgh/Cornwall. When I got back on the tenth of October I complained to greyhound, and because I didn't pay for their "first class" price they weren't going to refund my full price on my ticket, but we agreed to a $60.00 travel voucher. I still haven't received that, and when I recently contacted them asking them what was going on they tried to palm off a $19.00 travel voucher which they say "according to our records" we agreed to. We did NOT agree to that. Never in the least. So dear readers, if you want to travel by bus anywhere in this country, use any bus line other than greyhound or you will get screwed if something goes wrong unless you pay their "first class" price. I'll take Dartmouth Coach to New York next time if I go. Greyhound, you have lost a customer.

posted from Bloggeroid

Do I hate her?

The honest answer is "no". If I'm honest with myself, I'm still in love with her. Sadly I can't say I trust her as far as I could throw her, which is quite a distance, but anyway I can't trust her. How can you trust someone who can't be honest with you? How can you trust someone who says, "I love you, but don't show it around my friends"? How can you trust someone who wants you to uproot yourself to "prove your love" to them when they showed no actual love to you. At this point if she were to come crying back to me with that kid in tow I might be more likely to suggest she jump in front of a bus than ever let her be my friend again. I do have someone else in my life, sort of, but she's physically out of the picture until a year from this August. I hope to hell I get my feelings sorted out before then or else it won't be fair to her.

posted from Bloggeroid

The dragnet Christmas episodes

All those fans of dragnet out there probably only know of one episode that they did for Christmas, The Big Little Jesus or The Christmas Story where they (Joe Friday and his partner) try to track down a possibly stolen statue of the baby Jesus from a nativity scene in a Catholic Church. This episode has even been adapted for the show macgyver. Look it up... Anyway there is a less famous, but no less impactful story that they made for Christmas, The Big .22 rifle for Christmas. It's a story more about gun safety more than Christmas, but the story is also good. A child accidentally kills his friend with his Christmas gift, a new .22 rifle. This episode has never been shown after the 50s dragnet series, probably because it doesn't really talk about Christmas. I like both these holiday episodes of the famous police procedural, but the best is The Big Little Jesus because it's about the holiday, not murder. What's your opinion?

posted from Bloggeroid

My thoughts on Mr. Stephen King

Say what you will about Stephen King and his quality of books and movies over the years (rose red and his version of the shining being among my favorite horror movies) he is a great writer.   Many call him the Master of horror, and they aren't wrong.   The majority of his books and stories are horror based, but I think another title can be given to him.   The Master of the modern adult fairy tale.  Before you do a triple take and think I've lost my mind, hear me out.   Many of us don't know the unabridged versions of those fairy tales we grew up with.   Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella in their original forms were as gruesome as any Stephen King story about a demon clown or a killer virus.   If you read a lot of Stephen Kings stories, if they aren't an ongoing series like the dark tower series, have a happy ending.   The monster or evil is defeated, but at a great cost to the heroes.   Heck, in Stephen kings classic novel, IT, two of the children who were the heroes die one by suicide and the other in battle.   The heroes leave scarred, but triumphant.   So in a way Stephen King is like the brothers Grimm for the modern age, and maybe someday he'll be just as immortal as the fairy tale writers that we all grew up with.

Would that I could.

Would that I could bury my heart fifty fathoms deep.
So that no one could hear my heart weep.
Would that the river grant me eternal rest
From the pain caused by she whom I loved best.
But the great good has not seen fit to salve my tortured soul
So onwards I cry, onwards I go
Into the the remainder of my life, my life's winter blow.
To walk the lonely winding road forever alone.