I thought I knew

I thought I knew what love was before I met you.
I thought I knew what desire was before I met you.
I thought I knew what a soulmate was before I met you.
Then I threw it all away
Because I was confused and in pain
But because the pain I felt not having you was more than I could bear
Like a limb or and organ from my body I tear.
I won't put myself through that pain again,or you.
It'll take time this I know, but I've nothing but time.   I'm in for the long haul... I'm forever yours.   That's my solem promise to you.  Stronger than the last one because I can't take the pain of losing you again... Ever.

I've made some major mistakes

How many mistakes can one man make in a few years, and how big do they have to be.   Apparently in my case they don't have to be many and they vary by size from small to ginormous... In 2011 I got married, apparently too early to know what a lying, cheating, abusive and using bitch she was.  Sadly it took seven months for me to figure it out.   Thankfully the divorce was relatively painless because I didn't make her the mother of my children... Thank God for that.  Soon after all that was over I fell in love with a very wonderful woman and still love her, sadly there were major bumps on the way.   One that has very nearly derailed us completely.  Not going into a long description, but because of missed and mixed signals I cheated on her while she was at school abroad.   I'm not proud of what I've done... It was the same shit my useless ex-wife did to me and I did it to someone that deserves and deserved so much better at my hands.   She has given me a second chance to put it generously and I don't deserve it... I'll be thankful for her generosity and I'll never touch another woman in a sexual manner online or in person ever again... I'll make myself into a eunuch first.

How did it happen?

How did it happen?  I really don't know.  A love that reaches down to my soul.  A love long destroyed by a faithless wife's toys.  Now here i am smitten again by one who listened to my deep pain.  She is my heart, and I'll never say no.  I'll be with her forever more.