When will it be?

When will it be,
When I stop feeling like the enemy?
When will things return to the light that once was?
How much can a man be punished for the evil he does?
I know I did wrong, and broke your heart in two.
You haven't punished me lately thus is true,
But I punish myself until my insides are black and blue.
I know I shouldn't, but it must be done.
For if there is a party guilty I'm that one.
Until our love turns back to its normal state.
Hating myself will be my fate.